Rackets & Strong Suites

A responce to a blog about love......

2009-12-02T16:24:00.000-08:00

SO I ASK MYSELF a much simpler question. What do I love more than anything in the world? Chocolate boy loves chocolate. It's simple, and maybe worthless to many, but it's important to him. Perhaps so much so that he would die for it.

I have said many times that I don't believe in love. It's placing a tangible word on an abstract feeling, an emotion that's far too enigmatic and more elusive than we all seem to think in our worldly motions. I'm no stranger to the over use of the word 'love.' I say I love movies, tv shows, and all sorts of things but I don't really mean it.

I exhaust the word without regard and I should probably pay a little more respect to the notion that all of Humanity has sought to harness since Gaea and Uranus came together and ended the chaos of the universe. Love was their vessel in which they birthed the Titans. How can I use the same word to describe my feelings for Apple Pie with Ice Cream? (It does come close)

Love is a vast concept beyond our small comprehension and human definitions. It is the Ultimate goal in our short lives, and on a tinier scale compared to Gaea and Uranus, it is how we all come to be in this world.

But how do we ever take hold of it if we are so disillusioned?

They say you should do what you love and let the money come.

If love brings happiness, then I don't need money and I don't need to find my calling. Perhaps love is the calling. But how do I know what I love? How do I make Titans of my life?"

MY RESPONSE.....

Wow, jut wow the way you write...it's like as i read my eyes are skating on ice under the northern lights. You break down of your views on love is very intriguing. But, as a man that believes in the idea of great love i most interject my own opinion. So as to maybe shed some light.

As you must know the greatest invention in the history of man is language. Language is the tool by which we relate objects to sounds. Placing a meaning to them. But, language is also used to relate things of an abstract nature such as love.

It's interesting how you say you are not one that believes in love. Respectfully i would have to disagree. Everything i see in the writing's I've read by you point to a grasp on love so profound...i fear i have no words to relate.

The thing is love is at the same time beyond comprehension akin to creating the Titans. And, at the same time so simple as in the love i have or Films, word, music, and vanilla ice cream. That is the beauty of the abstract feelings, and the word itself. It is deep and shallow, vast and small. I like to think of love or rather the essence of love like the spaces between an atoms. As you may know an atom is a tiny speck so small it's almost an abstract idea, yet the space between two atoms is so vast it's almost unmeasurable.

I shall live you with this. Something a friend once told me. Love isn't an outside abstract feeling that befalls you from time to time. Love is a creation that you choose to generate. So if you do not believe in love, maybe it's just something you're not ready to generate.

Back in the fold

2009-12-02T15:58:00.000-08:00

I've been gone like a whole year, but i'm happy to say that i am BACK!! My thoughts ideas and inner most dark secrets will once again be exposed to the masses. A lot has changed in the past year from working on film productions, to growing by leaps and bounds, i have much to tell you all. But, let me start by saying i am well, i am alive and i am hear to create. Till next time.

What i need..

2008-12-06T22:05:00.000-08:00

I need a change. What change i couldn't begin to tell you. Well, actually i think i have an idea of what i need to happen. I'm such a coward content with what i do not want, and longing for what i am unwilling to have. If the first step in achievement is choosing to win then i have already lost. I don't choose, i settle, and complain, and regret the path not taken. I'm still stuck trying to please and be the good guy when all i want to be bad. I recently started this thing with a girl that i feel stuck in because I'm unwilling to tell the truth. And the truth is i don't like her in that way. If the truth sets you free then denial is my prison, and I've been locked up for 10 years. If who we are are the choices we make then who i am is a coward, afraid to say what's so, and deal with the reality of what is so. I am the cowardly lion on a quest not for the wizard, but a quest to stay small. What does it take to be bigger than i am? What do i have to give? Who do i have to be?

What i need....

Guts
Pride
Power
Respect of self
Honor
Integrity
Faith
Money
Fame
Talent
Skill
Intent
Purpose
Love
Conviction
Discipline
Courage
Loyalty

Hero complex

2008-12-02T16:52:00.000-08:00

In life we all go through moments in which we see something that the moment before we didn't see, but understand that it has always been there controlling the outcome. These "blind spots" are like roots that control and guide the tree the world sees. The other day a buddy of mine Brandon came up to Philly from DC for Thanksgiving (Happy Thanks by the way). We got to talking about me. Or rather what has me feel like I'm still in the same place in life despite the huge strides forward I've made. I won't go into details of what was discovered but saw that i have what believe to be a "Hero Complex". I have this need to protect people namely women form well everything. So much so that i many times enable bad behavior because to me a hero is the eternal "nice guy". The Superman a boy scout who smiles and is accommodating and ultimately an enabler. It even goes so far as to have a direct affect on my life, and it isn't a go affect. The need to protect goes so far that i unknowingly hinder myself or hold myself back so I'm available to the people I'm protecting. My life is stunted because i need to be the "Hero". Hero's are overrated. This world has no power, no choice all that is here is resentment and codependency. Life lived trying to be a hero ultimately has you become a victim. You are trapped in the ideal of heroism, but you do not live life as a hero. Heroes choose, they are nice, or they are mean, they yell, or they cry, true heroes know that in order to be a hero you must be willing to take on some characteristics of being a villain. So I'm moving on free, I'm neither a hero, nor a villain i am just.....

Ok

2008-11-25T22:34:00.000-08:00

Ok so maybe you guys are right about what i posted. Maybe it is a little to much on the seedy side, but i mean i do want the girl of my dreams to be attractive. Is that really so wrong? I', not taking the post down but i am recreating a new vision blog on love. Keep your eyes open form that.

There's a song by Radiohead that i can't get outta mine. It's called "High and Dry" yoyu guys should check it out. I think it has meaning for me.

Confronted

2008-11-24T17:13:00.000-08:00

I wrote a blog a few days ago on what i called a vision blog. I wrote out in somewhat detail what i would like, or what i want in a partner. And to my surprise it hasn't been well received. Some say that it's very superficial only glimpsing the surface of what people (guys) should want in a woman. Maybe it is hell it is. And so what is it is. Why are people so concerned with the surface or rather concerned with my being concerned with the surface. I was told by a friend that if they had created a vision blog they'd put pictures of iconic leaders of the world. But really give me a fucking break. A vision blog is about what you want not what you believe you should want. It's not about what looks good to other people, it's about what make your heart melt. So judge me all you want. Accuse me of being like every other guy, the truth is i am. I have a penis and it grows and gets excited for a beautiful female form. I am a guy and i do not apologize for it. But there is a difference in me though. Most guys don't believe beauty and brains, and heart can come in one divine human being. I on the other hand do. I can have it all, i want it all, and i choose it all. So if you don't like it tough in the end i answer to myself and God. The vision blog stays.

Joy and Misery

2008-11-21T21:22:00.000-08:00

It's a cold war and the kids are playing games of blood and dishonor. The eve of tomorrow sets and the sun rests for the day. We see ourselves burning from being cold with no one holding us. I look out into the sea of people swimming and drowning peacefully. I yell out and ask God come and save, but nothing happens. We were born, we are here, we care for things, and nothing for people. We share souls of misery and hold joy to ourselves, so selfishly we are despicable. I wish i had a light to see true faces. They are all hidden behind a mask of "I'm OK". But nothing is and will ever be until we share our joy and not our misery.

Poem by
Ken O

The thing is...

2008-11-21T21:09:00.000-08:00

The thing is.......life has a very funny way of showing or rather playing it's cards. I imagine that life is a player in a poker game with myself on the other side. It's Vegas maybe or less glam side Atlantic City. The dealer deals we get out cards and the game is on. Who wins really? I guess in the end life does, and we lose. But ultimately isn't the fun of playing the game....actually playing the game? Isn't it all just one big gamble? And when our hand is down we say well what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas right? Wrong, it follows us through it all. The bad hands, the cheats, even the wins. I've never really played poker, not much of a gambler i guess. Thing is i know enough of the game to get by, but never enough to truly enjoy the ride. Thus is the story of my life enough to keep my head above water, but never enough to truly swim. So if the waters turn and the winds change and the sea gets to rumbling chances are I'll drown knowing just enough to get by.

Vision Board

2008-11-15T23:18:00.000-08:00

This is a little description of what a vision board is.

Vision Blog part 1: Women/Love

2008-11-15T22:12:00.000-08:00

It's about to be 2am and i just had what i believe to be an inspired thought. I have an experiment i wanna try. I bet a lot of you out their in blog world have heard or read something on the secret. A.K.A The law of attraction that basically states that what you focus your energies and thoughts on is what you get in return. A man who speaks and things on wealth gets wealth, conversely a man who speaks and things on dept gets just that. Well I've known about this secret for awhile and i do believe that what so a man thinket so is he. What i haven't done is actively use this method in my life. I sort of have been waiting till I'm ready to really receive before i put it all in practice. So here i am putting the secret to the test.
One of the practices in applying the secret in to create a "Vision Board". I'll create another blog that details what a "vision board" is but for these purposes i will just say it's a focus point in which you focus you creative energies into having the Universe bring you the things you want in your life.
I am taking it one step further by creating as "Vision Blog". For the next 30 or so days i will be posting pictures, videos, and stories of things i love and or want in my life. Things that make me feel good and appreciative of my life. And in turn the Universe will bring these good this to me.
Today I'm starting off with a "Vision Blog" about what i want most love. I love women all of them. I love the way they smell, they way the walk, the looks they give when they like you. I love everything about women. But sadly i don't have a special woman in my life today. So i thought why no make a list of things i want in an ideal mate, and post picture of beautiful women that fit the look i want. Through this i hope to attract this woman into my life. We shall see.
The list
Dark soulful eyes.
Big hair (i.e: long, curly Afro, full raven color).
Thick shapely body.
Full breast.
Perfect taut ass.
Creative.
Loving.
Caring.
Smart.
Poetic word.
Seeker of Knowledge.
Leader.
Warrior.
Motherly.
Earth goddess.
Interested in the abstract.
A dancer of hearts.
Wild.
Free flowing.
Like water.
Still.
A vision.
A visionary.
Between 5'3" and 5' 9".
Black
White (Italian, Greek, exotic looking).
Latin
Indian.
Asian.
Mine.

That's my list wish me luck.....

What's your type/what are you attacted to?

2008-11-15T20:17:00.000-08:00

I had a conversation with a girl in class the other day that was odd. She told me she wasn't attracted to black people guys or girls. And really it threw me a little that an 18 year old girl in Philly wasn't in some way attracted to any black person in the world (myself included). I tried explaining to her that attraction is based on perspective and perspective is based on prejudice but she didn't get it. Really though if your not at attracted to a RACE of people then you are prejudice. DEAL WITH IT!!

People on the train.

2008-11-15T20:13:00.000-08:00

People on the train always look sad to me, and i wonder if it's sadness or the social norm to always look super serious in public. I wonder?.....

About last night

2008-11-15T12:05:00.000-08:00

I worked last night and those of you who read this and do not know me I work in retail (shameless plug) H&M. Last night have had the honor of closing, but due to the economic times we ended up leaving early. My buddy Sean came up to meet me so we could get a few drinks. Walked down to old city to hit up this bar Sugar Mom’s (I live in Philadelphia). By the way it’s an Awesome bar.
He’d just broken up with a girl he was see and well was pretty sad about the whole thing. So as a good friend I went into the whole requisite ex girlfriend bashing we as men are obligated to do. We crossed the whole gambit from she’s not that hot, to best way to get over and ex is to get on top of a future ex. None of it worked well not really. We get to Sugar Mom’s and well it pretty typical of a Friday night. It’s packed mostly guys but a few cute girls around. He gets a drink while I check out the scene. I’ve been on this whole kick lately of trying to develop my game with the ladies. I’ve been working on opening girls, charming, and ultimately closing (I.e. fucking). Last night in order to cheer my buddy up I decided I’d work my so called magic and see what’s good. Well long story short her bails and leaves me alone talking to the beautiful women with a big curly afro. She’s got that bohemian vibe and she’s nice. I talk to her and her friend and end up having a great time just talking. I realize that game is really all about honesty and openness. I didn’t fuck either of them in fact the one I liked was married with two kids, but I learned from them. Part of being and attractive guy is being of an attractive mind. Being open positive and inviting. I wasn’t really expecting anything I was open to whatever happen. I just wish my buddy was around to see that everyone wants to be connected.

Love

2008-11-15T11:34:00.000-08:00

There is no effort in love, only in it's expression. After that love just comes.