What i need..

I need a change. What change i couldn't begin to tell you. Well, actually i think i have an idea of what i need to happen. I'm such a coward content with what i do not want, and longing for what i am unwilling to have. If the first step in achievement is choosing to win then i have already lost. I don't choose, i settle, and complain, and regret the path not taken. I'm still stuck trying to please and be the good guy when all i want to be bad. I recently started this thing with a girl that i feel stuck in because I'm unwilling to tell the truth. And the truth is i don't like her in that way. If the truth sets you free then denial is my prison, and I've been locked up for 10 years. If who we are are the choices we make then who i am is a coward, afraid to say what's so, and deal with the reality of what is so. I am the cowardly lion on a quest not for the wizard, but a quest to stay small. What does it take to be bigger than i am? What do i have to give? Who do i have to be?

What i need....

Guts
Pride
Power
Respect of self
Honor
Integrity
Faith
Money
Fame
Talent
Skill
Intent
Purpose
Love
Conviction
Discipline
Courage
Loyalty